my shoulders are tired

i've realized in the last few weeks that i really hate people who are not funny. well, maybe i don't hate them, but i hate fake-laughing at their jokes because it's the polite thing to do. it just disgusts me that that's what's expected. i should produce a tiny, obviously fake chuckle, maybe move my shoulders a little to try and make it look more real (never successful), rather than just be honest and not do anything? why couldn't i just do what people are supposed to do when something else embarassing happens, like tripping, and ignore it? tripping is usually funnier than stupid jokes and i still keep my mouth closed, so don't i deserve to do the same when someone says something that is completely not funny? i mean, either way no one is really going to get the point because i've been doing the fake laugh thing for years and no one ever stops making stupid jokes.

humor is pretty important to me. all of my good friends are funny, and most of the people that i enjoy interacting with are funny. some of them more than others, sure, and some of them in ways that they're not exactly aware of, but they are all pretty funny. sometimes i consider myself a witty person, sometimes i live in paralyzing fear that i'm losing my sense of humor. i call this "losing the funny." sometimes i do think i'm losing it - an incredibly awkward conversation, a complete lack of interesting topics to blog about, sometimes just a general feeling that i'm not keeping up my end of conversations. sometimes it just takes me a little while to warm back up after some time around people who aren't that funny, and sometimes i just have to walk away and tell myself that someone has no sense of humor, or at least one that doesn't intersect with mine. but sometimes i feel like i'm relying on cheap ideas to be funny. a good sense of humor, which is not the same thing as relentless sarcasm, is a mark of intelligence, and depending on shock value or political satire might make people in the workplace laugh but workplace laughing is not the same thing as being funny. you cannot rely on that as a gauge. i wonder what the best way to sharpen your sense of humor is.


this came up under a search for "funny." a lot of pictures of pugs came up, some of wrinkly dogs next to fat babies, and of course a lot of pictures of butts. i liked this one though. not that it made me laugh out loud or anything, but he replaced the handlebars with a music stand! think about the effort that went into that! he really enjoys this!