a thing

here is the thing. well, not the thing, a thing. here is a thing. i hate romantic movies because they make me feel like my life sucks. my life doesn't suck at all, it's just never as romantic as the movies i watch. and i don't watch any of those terrible sandra bullock meg ryan movies, either, so it's always these creative arthouse romances that are supposed to be more realistic than those movies because they aren't mainstream, but they always just leave me feeling angry at my boyfriend for absolutely no fair reason. i wish my life was dreamier, too. not like surf hunk mark paul gosselaar dreamy, like imagining about birds in the spring or fall light or living in a faraway time (not zombies - daydreaming about the zombie apocalypse is just escapism) dreamy. to some extent, everyone's life is a little bit dreamy. reality is subjective - just look at studies done about eyewitness accounts and you will learn that people remember and interpret things differently based on their experiences and desires. so, everyone's day-to-day perceptions stray from reality, and in that way everyone's life is a little bit dreamy. but i don't want regular dreamy, like wishing i had a burrito instead of a yogurt or an enormous soda instead of water in a recycled vitamin water container, i want big dreamy like pretending my car is an airplane and having fun driving to work but still getting there safely. the problem is, when i try to imagine this stuff and then i try to share it because it is so fun, people look at me like i'm either twelve or hallucinogenic.

stereotypes make romance seem like the impetus behind the gender divide (i like to think of it as a political movement rather than a canyon). girls are crazy for it and boys think it is a total drag but will keep up appearances in the beginning to make the girl think what, that they are romantic? what's the point in that? you're just setting up expectations you can't meet. and then there's the inevitable argument over the guy never being romantic and there is some failed attempt to bring it back with an expensive candlelit dinner or something and it's all just a flop. then, there's the backlash, where girls make guys think that they don't care about all that stuff so that the guys will like them because they can hang out and drink beer, but then the girl realizes too late that she is a closet princess and wants dinner or at least some gentlemanly behavior. that would be awesome.

basically i am frustrated because watching a movie made me feel like my life would be better if someone did a nice thing for me. people probably do nice things for me every day that i completely take for granted, so i guess i am saying my life would be better if someone did a nice thing for me and then told me about it, like said it was for the occasion that i was pretty or something. the problem is, when romance like that happens in real life i just want to hit someone.

also, i want people to stop doing mean things to me. like eating my biscuits and then hiding the evidence. you jerks!

tonight i went to a movie with a new friend. it was nice to do something with someone who
a. is not jake
b. is not one of my roommates
c. is a girl.
not that she and i have a whole lot in common. in fact, jake laughed at me a little because he can tell after just being in the same room with her a few times at school that we have absolutely nothing in common. but we had a great time and we ran out of the theater laughing even when the guy behind the counter tried to talk to us. actually, when he did that we just laughed harder and ran faster. it's ok though, when we drove past he was laughing and cleaning the window and i think he waved, like in the end of that one smashing pumpkins song where billy corgan is a voyeur.