today has been a pathetic day

work was fine. it usually is.

home kind of sucks. i don't know how obvious this is, but it usually does. my roommate moved out, and the other two roommates touted some high standards for who they wanted to move in but none of those people worked out so it was left to me to troll craigslist to try and find someone relatively sane. i came up with the perfect gentleman, a young man from shreveport, louisiana with the most darling accent you ever heard and a manner like a cool glass of lemonade in the summer. also a large collection of southern hip-hop and a wide-eyed wonder for the amusements of portland. i immediately grew attached to him, cleaned the house for his visit, and agitated for his primacy as a candidate. as soon as things looked like they were going to go my way, a faraway (sacramento) roommate came down from on high to say that his girlfriend, or maybe a former roommate of hers, was maybe going to take the room, so he would handle this month's rent and we would figure it out. i don't dislike his girlfriend, or her former roommate. when i had been clutching at straws two days ago i would have been ecstatic to hear they wanted to move in. but now that i've found my own person, a good person and a potential friend, i'm overwrought and being pretty melodramatic about it. part of it is that i like him, and if i have to turn him away we'll never be friends. the other part is that i have been feeling pretty pathetic lately, what with my almost complete inability to connect with any of the friends i had considered "real" (besides the inimitable jordan pierce, who i consistently fall short of believing has actually conceded to being my friend). the opportunity to make a real friend, not just one that i go to a movie with because i know her and she is a girl, made me really excited. but, aside from my temporary delusion that i should just tell him to move in anyway and no one will be mad, that opportunity is pretty much gone. it's pretty pathetic that i can feel so terrible over the failure of a friendship that hadn't even happened yet.

also, i had a flat tire and when i brought it in they said i needed new tires. that sucked.