i have allergies, and it's hard to concentrate and/or keep my balance, so here are just a couple things

this whole anna nicole smith thing is just a cover for the fact that the government has been DOCTORING INTELLIGENCE. yes, that was announced two days ago. terrifying. that said, i am also terrified by the fact that a.n.s. left her baby in the bahamas when she left for hollywood. less terrified, much less, but still terrified.

having a fever is not sexy. even if you have a fever because you are near someone you have a crush on and you are just an awkward person, it is pretty much the farthest thing from sexy. it's sweaty, and kind of headachy, and even if a shower provides temporary relief, you still have a fever when you get out and then you have a fever and are squeaky clean with your pores sealed shut and you feel like the finger of a really big latex glove.

i have a strange relationship with valentine's day. ever since i stopped going to an all-girls' school, i wanted a valentine, but the timing was always off, so valentine's day has always been a pretty big disappointment romantically. one year, a couple weeks before valentine's day, i was hanging out with a friend in his dorm room. i went to the bathroom on his hall and found his hallmate and a girl he was dating shaving each other. they said it was a date they had thought of. this led to a nightmare where i got an envelope in the mail and it was full of their greasy hair. then, on valentine's day, i opened my mailbox and saw a big envelope. i was so excited! my first real valentine, not from my mom or grandparents, ever! i opened it and it was full of max's hair. i cried. the first year jake and i were together, we got together right after valentine's day. the next year, it happened during the week or so we were broken up (jake sent me a card anyway. it was big and heavy, with a dark red heart with lace around it. i have no idea where he got it - i can't for the world imagine him actually buying it - but i do still have it). then, last year, i was home and jake was here in portland (although he sent my flowers and candy anyway - a dozen roses, and a big box of chocolates. i ate all the chocolates immediately). this will be the first year i will have a real valentine's day. i guess i'm excited. that said, my mom has always done a little something for valentine's day. sometimes i would wake up and there would be a new mug and some ghiradelli's hot chocolate on the kitchen table, sometimes special valentine's day socks. that always meant a lot to me, and it might sound retarded but my mom is the best valentine i could ever have. i think my mom is totally rad.